Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize