I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
