ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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