if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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