Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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