It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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