Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
