im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
