so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize