what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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