Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
