OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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