The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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