I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
