I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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