she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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