No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
