His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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