In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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