i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
