Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
