I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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