Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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