Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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