how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
