You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
