Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
