Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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