UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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