PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
