thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize