lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
