now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
