I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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