Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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