I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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