It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
