so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
