He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
