yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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