Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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