This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
