So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
