I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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