oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
