i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
