why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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