That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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