I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
