i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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