i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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