omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
