my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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