Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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