just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
