Sry I called you an 8
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
