I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize