So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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