I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
