Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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