i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
